I molested 6 butterflies tonight
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
false alarm. still invincible.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Randomize
