The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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