My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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