I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
