she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
