I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
