I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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