In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
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