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: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize