My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
