Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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