The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
It's official drugs can't kill me
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
