she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
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