Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
