Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
