the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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