The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
