i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Randomize
