I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
The feeling are messing with the penis
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Randomize
