what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
