i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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