Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Randomize
