Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
he shaved USA in his pubs
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
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