last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
We just shotgunned beers for America
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Randomize
