Do vagina's smell?
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
being pregnant is like rehab
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
