barbara walters just said penis...
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
My Sexting was not on an AP level
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
