i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
