i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
