Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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