well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
