was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Randomize
