I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
This gyro tastes like lonliness
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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