Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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