marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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