You're my little dorito
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
