you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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