Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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