Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Randomize
