So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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