Yo dont text me then not text me
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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