I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
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