I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Randomize
