He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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