They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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