P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize