Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
