that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
You're like the curious george of whores
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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