he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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