I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Randomize
