First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
