Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Randomize
