just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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