I just gift wrapped bread.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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