i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
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