Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Randomize
