Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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