I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Randomize
