You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
we should paint friendship bongs
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize
