The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Randomize
